Christmas Special

First of all, I would like to wish all my faithful readers a Merry Christmas. This log doesn't have anything to do with school, but it's a bit of fun so I hope you enjoy it.

If you've been the the cinema at Sambil Valencia, you for sure will have noticed the small banner ad that says "Accumulando 196 puntos te ganas una entrada totalmente gratis!". I would like to ask the people who created this ad, how can something be partially free? It's a no brainer that it's totally free... unless you're planning a strings attached ticket. What are the conditions with this partially-free gift? Do you have to go with one of the reject workers from the cinema? Well, not even that, cuz they're giving you only one "totally free" ticket (but I guess it's worth it, because after all it's wholly free). I wish people would think of things before they write this kind of things.

On the same note, have you noticed how in the USA they have these promotions where if you buy $40 worth of soaps you get a free gift? I would like to remind these people that the definition of "gift" is "a present or something which is given", and I would like to point out that the definition of "present" is "something which you are given, without asking for it, on a special occasion, especially to show friendship, or to say thank you" and ultimately I would like to point out that a gift is something you get for free. A better definition for gift is " something acquired without compensation." So there you go. When was the last time your uncle gave you a watch for your birthday and then said "happy birthday, here's your gift. I hope you enjoy it. And, btw, that will be $62." Never. That's because it is implied that the gift is free. Therefore, when you say you will be getting a "free gift" the pinheads who write this crap are being redundant.

Coming Attractions

For next year, starting January 10th, there'll be a special section at the end of each day's post. This will be Old Fun, with memories from occurences in the past years in CIC (ie Briggs moments, Behrsing moments...). If you would like to suggest an Old Fun moment, please email it to me. Thanks and enjoy.

The End at Last

Nothing happened today, and when I say nothing I mean it literally. So, for the purpose of keeping this blog running, I'll write two things that happened these past two weeks that I didn't document in pervious entries.

Yesterday we thought Tiny was depressed. Why? I don't know, but we just thought he was. So Irene gets up and gives him a hug, because after all he's depressed. Then she calls for a group hug! And, of course, for the sake of bothering him we all gave big Tiny a group hug. He kept shouting "I'm not depressed!" but we still have him the hug. That was pretty funny. I hope Tiny didn't believe he's depressed...

About a week ago were were hanging around after school in the gym, waiting for the volleyball game to start. Maurizio says he wants to jump from the bleachers onto the tree and hold on to the branch there. We try to put some sense into him, telling him that he will most likely fall and break his arm. And well, he gives up on that idea. So this time he climbs up the tree and says he's gonna jump onto the bleachers. We know this is a stupid idea, but we don't tell him that, we want to see if he'll go through with it. And he does. At first it looks as if he's going to make it gracefully, but all of a sudden he hits on the edge of the bleachers and falls outwards, onto to ground. LOL! He then immediately stood up and said he was okay, but it had to hurt. Only Maurizio would do such a thing...

It's Almost Christmas

Plenty of action today, specially during, yeah, Psychology. It all started out by reading the book, but when we finished all the fun began. The guys and myself went ouside to "get a drink" and well, Rodrigo had a couple of urges, but then he said that he would do something that he had never done before. He looked right, then left. Then he started. He started stripping for us! First he started by taking his shirt off, and as soon as he had completely taken it off and was holding it in his hand, I ran towards him and snapped the shirt away. I ran across the hall and into the upper parking lot, Rodrigo rushing behind me... shirtless! After a while I decided to give it back to him, he could've gotten in trouble for that. But can't you just see him? Running about the halls with his bare torso? It's hilarious... sorry girls, I don't have a picture to post.

After Calabria and Rodrigo decided they wanted to lift me up in some sort of hand-seat (it's not as bad as it sounds, okay?). And well, when they did Tiny was right there, and what's more spontaneous than me climbing on Tiny's back? Me climbing on Tiny's neck... yeah, I felt like I was 6 again. I almost got hit with the ceiling, but it was cool. We then went to Ms. Ostermiller (I'm still clinched on Tiny's neck) and I tried to give her a hug, only to almost fall on her!

Up next was Rodrigo. He climbed on Tiny's back (he's not as skinny as I am, so he coudn't clinch himself around Tiny's neck). Tiny was just carrying him around, but then Rodrigo had flashback of when he used to ride horses (well, maybe they weren't flashbacks... there are no horses in Brazil) and he told Tiny to speed up. When his command wasn't taken into consideration, Rodrigo started spanking Tiny's butt. I'm not kidding, he did. And I don't mean once, but more like eleven times. You could tell Rodrigo was having a blast... ick!

Well, after those "experiences" we had a little chat with Ms. Guerra. We talked about everything (everything that you wouldn't talk about with a teacher). And well, Tiny says that he'll be bothering her over the holidays via Messenger, and Guerra replies that she will block him. Tiny says that he'll get in contact with her via her friends and Guerra gives a shocking (yet not unexpected) answer: "I've got no friends." It was hilarious! We just laughed, moderately on the outside but wetting ourselves in the inside. Come to think of it, it's not really much of a surprise... She then tell Tiny that he's not very nice, and the reply that she got from Tiny was a very sincere "you're not very nice either." Although it's not funny when you read it, the guys who were present will know why it was so funny. It's all about how you say things.

After school, after we had undergone more than an hour with Mr. Pepe (pronounced "Pepi"), we went back to Mr. Olivas' room. There we saw all the pictures that had been taken today, and we found a test picture that had been taken before going out on the field. Apparently Carlos was testing out the camera and randomly just took a picture of Rodrigo. I have to tell you, he looked just like Garfield! His eyes were identical! We just laughed and laughed and laughed... Then Olivas looked up for a picture of Garfield in the internet and compared both. He looks just like Garfield! I can't wait to get hold of that picture and Photoshop it... if I get hold of it I will post it on here so you can all make fun of Rodfield. Oh, and Mr. Pepe (remember, "Pepi") looks like Geppetto.

Extracurricular Activities

Well, nothing interesting happened in school today, I mean nothing, literally... that's maybe because we didn't have Psychology today. However, outside of school a couple of whacky things happened. I'll fill you in.

The first thing happened when Rodrigo and I were on our way to school for the Choir recital. Somehow we were discussing the origins of Mr. Rugg (ie where he comes from) and Rodrigo first said California, but then he took it back and stated that he was from Chicago, or somewhere around there. And then he said that no, he wasn't from Chicago, but instead from somewhere else... like Illinois. Uhm, may I remind the Brazilian that Chicago is IN Illinois... but well, you don't learn that in geography class in Brazil. Or maybe he's not from Brazil, maybe he's from Rio...

Then on our way back from the recital we stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat. We then made way to my house, and in one of the traffic light stops, this little girl (a beggar) starts coming forward and Rodrigo just puts up with windows. So rata... but yeah, it's all about the security issues. But that's not it, he then tells her that he doesn't have anything (again, security reason) but it happens that I'm holding the McDonalds bags on my lap, clearly visible to the little girl... I wonder how that looks, these guys telling you that they don't have a Bolivar to spare when they're holding food in their hands, hmmm.... I then tell Rodrigo that we're being ratas, thing that he knows, but then I add "you know what would be more rata? If we said no and we were eating the food at the same time." Can't you just see us doing that? "No, no tenemos nada" . Now THAT would be bastardly. NOTE: we wouldn't really do such a thing. I believe it is wrong and despicable that somebody would so something like that. It was just mentioned as a joke conversation.

Psych Day

Everything today happened during Psychology. We were discussing the bipolar disorder and what Mania was. Ms. Guerra explained that it was when people were overly happy and doing a bunch of weird things. Daniel adds "that means humping anything that moves." Can't you just see maniac people trying to do a bunch of odd things? Daniel surely can. And well, Guerra stares unapprovingly at Daniel when she suddenly hears Tiny laughing. Yeah, he was laughing at that... Ms. Guerra goes out and says what we were all thinking: "Guillermo, what are you ten?" In his mind he is...

Tiny was on a roll today. First he stated in this very weird voice (can't describe it to you, but I can tell you it just wasn't Tiny) that identical twins were unfortunate. "Poor identical twins, they're always being used in experiments." Can't you just see them being kept in a cage when they're being tested for all these weird things they use identical twins to test? Cruel, but then again, they do it with animals, why not identical twins? Ms. Guerra responded that although they did have to go through many things, they did get well paid by the universities. All Ms. Guerra ever things about is the money... (I know, I'm thinking it too, but I can't write it down because it would get me into trouble).

For the hat-trick Tiny very wisely stated that you cannot rape a dead person, as it is not going against the deceased's will. Well, are they allowing it? Do you think they would've liked some odd bloke to have sex with them? I know I wouldn't, so as far as I'm concerned if you shag a dead body not only are you committing rape, but you should also seek some help fast.

To top it all off, Rodrigo was kicked out of the class. He corrected Tiny on something (yeah, as you guessed I wasn't paying attention) and Ms. Guerra snapped at him because he was interrupting. "but I'm not interrupting!" Rodrigo interrupted. "Yes you are..." "No, I'm not!" so then Ms. Guerra got really annoyed with the Brazilian and they exchanged some words before the unthinkable happened: "Ms. Guerra, you're acting like Ms. Debrise"... Ms. Guerra didn't hesitate for a second before she kicked him out of the room... me wonders why such the violent behavior.

Flipping a Little

Well, I've been slagging off everyone here for the past month, but I guess it's my turn to be in the spotlight. Today was the day when everything happened to me.

In the morning, during VANAS Field Day, I did my first of two things. Calabria and I were walking towards the gym for the awards ceremony when to my surprise Ms. Little appears, walking the opposite way. What's my reaction? I flip. That's right, I flip. I mean, flip literally. And yes, it did hurt my back a little, but I made a flip. How crazy am I? Who FLIPS? Some of the guys will know why, but I never thought that I would flip. Ahh... I'm just messed up, you know?

Fast forward to study hall, if you like. There Daniel and I went out to the field to take some measurements, and once we had finished the measurements, I noticed that there was an unused shovel in the bucket. I started breaking down small pieces of wood and then hitting them across the arroyo with the shovel. However, there was a one time when I angled the shovel upwards, and when I hit the piece of wood it went directly upwards and struck me in the middle of the forehead. It hurt, you know? Daniel of course laughed his head off, and honestly who wouldn't have with the stupidity I performed? It just wasn't my day...

Don't Hit Your Mom in December... Do it in March!

Today was a pretty active day with lots of occurences taking place.

During Psychology we had some drag racing. That's right, racing. Once we had all (bar Helen) finished with our Psychology test, we went outside as usual to discuss the test (more like to talk about anything but the test). I suddenly got the idea to race Calabria from one end of the hall to the other end. After our race everyone wanted to race and the hall turned into a racing venue. Highlights include Tiny beating Rodrigo (didn't see that one coming, did you?) and Daniel burning his feet (he had taken off his shoes and his socks) while breaking at the end of the hall (on the cement). We tried to get Ms. Guerra to race Daniel (we offered her a Granola Bar as a prize) but she just wouldn't give in. She knew there was no way she could win (we all knew).

Yesterday while reviewing for the Psychology test, we were talking about a disorder that only took place in Japan (can't remember the name, wasn't really paying attention). Ms. Guerra informed us that this disorder had to to with people being paranoid of disrespecting other people by making too much eye contact or by offensive odors. Yeah, offensive odors. We all wondered what those were. Truth is we all had a good idea, but it was Daniel (surprise surprise) the one who yelled out "farting...! and tufo!" That was really a good laugh (even Guerra laughed, would you believe it?). It's a good thing we've got Danny to do crazy stuff like that.


Study hall started out with an announcement. As Zaida entered the room, she filled the rather empty space with a loud "I'm in state of depression!" That's right, she actually made herself heard! And well, too bad for her that she's in depression, but that was really something we didn't want to know. It was just funny how she announced she was depressed... class.

Later on during study hall we experienced Daniel exercising (you know, like on the telly) to some techno music. It was hilarious how he mocked the guys (and gals) on the telly... he's definately on the road to become a stripper. Later on that period we started with some Spanish sayings, and Calabria did his part by saying "Es mas malo que pegarle a su mama en diciembre". Yeah, I didn't get it either. Irene then comes in and says "in December? what's the difference in hitting your momma in December or in March?" So yes! Hit your momma in March! Eh!

Doughnuts

The day started out very early today, at least for some of us. It started in a very unique fashion, however. When the teachers meeting was adjourned, us seniors went into Mr. Nolin's classroom (that's where the meeting was) to see what had been going on, and to our delight there were doughnuts and coffee/juice. You know what immediately crept into our minds. I asked Mr. Rugg why it was the teachers got doughnuts and us, the hard working students, didn't get anything but work. His reply was that we hadn't had to sit through his speech. Well, I've got news for you, Mr. Rugg. Some of us put up with you for 45 mins every day, and sometimes 90 mins a day! We deserve our doughnuts! Tiny the first one to act. He just went ahead and took a doughnut and wrapped it with his abnormal huge hand. Once outside he took a bite, only to go back inside and offer to pay for it. He offered to pay for the doughnut! Who in the world does a thing like that? Only Tiny... Mr. Rugg refused to accept money and he let Tiny have the doughnut since, after all, it had already been bitten (remember that a bite from Tiny is like four normal human bites). After the majority of the teachers were gone (along with Mr. Rugg) we went inside and took what we could. Some of us finished off with juice and doughnuts while others just with juice. mmmmm.... doughnuts!

In Psychology we found out that Ms. Guerra is of Japanese decent. That's right, a blonde with bue eyes. Here's the real story: her father's step-father was of Japanese decent (he even went to this special school for Japanese people, could you imagine Ms. Guerra there?). Tiny at first believed that Ms. Guerra was Japanese and he was shocked, but this was after she had explained what I just wrote. Tiny not listening as always. That was about it from Psychology... not a very productive day.

To round up the day, Rodrigo recorded Tiny laughing (yeah, that laugh) on his cellular phone. Now we can laugh without having to put up with Tiny's "jokes"!

Bubble Day

Today was bubble day. Why? Because that's all we did during Physics: blow bubbles (it was a double period, mind). It all started out with one of Mr. Nolin's "demonstrations" where he was trying to prove whatever it was he was trying to prove. Next thing you knew Carlos and Marcella had taken the Bubble-Making Machine (just a baseless cylinder with a beaker of soap) and were blowing away. Then Daniel decided to make his own device (he cut the bottom of a plastic cup off) and well... I'm not sure if it was a success, but at least he tried something. Tiny then took control of the Bubble-Making Machine... he tried for like 5 minutes and he couldn't make a single bubble! He later got the hang of it and started making more and more... but it was funny how he couldn't do something as simple as blow into a cylinder. I guess he's just not good at blowing...

Then another thing happened during advisory. Mr. Rasmuson hates it when the students take control of his chair, specially to roll around the room or to perform similar childish activities. By telling you that you should know what happened next. Daniel took over Mr. Rasmuson's chair once he left the room and started spinning on it. Maurizio was next in line to spin, and Daniel was next in line to push. After a few spins Maurizio started to feel the force acting on him, so he asked Daniel to stop pushing, but Daniel, being himself, just kept on spinning the chair, even faster this time. The result? When the chair stopped Maurizio fell to the floor dizzy and crazy (apparently... he was laughing his head of and there was no way to stop him).

This reminds me of a very similar event that happened some time ago. It also involves Maurizio, Daniel and Mr. Rasmuson's chair. This time Daniel was also spinning Maurizio, only that he spun him too much/too hard and Maurizio spun to the ground. Maurizio hit the floor with a loud crash, but that didn't stop him from mechanically spinning on the floor like a madman while hysterically laughing. Now THAT was hilarious...

December 5th +1

Today was a pretty inactive day. Not much happened of interest, not even in study hall! I was getting a couple of panic attacks during that time, but nothing major. However, there was one thing to note. During the psychology discussion, Tiny was rambling on about something (can't tell you what it was, I wasn't paying attention) and he mentined that something usually happens with "triplets plus one." Any chance he was referring to quadruplets? We had a good laugh with that; Tiny doing the job once again and salvaging a day.

During Physics class Mr. Nolin got us all excited about this mini "experiment" he was going to perform (yeah, right... we just act excited to make him feel better). He works on his build up and and how cool this experiment is, after heating up the water in the beaker for minutes, he tries to insert this stick with a ball on it's end (don't ask what it was... probably another of his "probes") into the beaker and it doesn't fit! The beaker is too small! Of course, you know the reaction that followed, we all blamed it on him being Canadian and all, but he defended himself by saying that the other teachers (who were bound to arrive by 7:30) had arrived late and he couldn't get the right materials for the lab. Ahhhh... poor little hairy Canuck.

Bono

Ah, it's a Beautiful Day... or is it? The highlight of the day was study hall (isn't it always?) where us seniors got together for a friendly song. I'll tell you how it started.

In the morning Mr. Waters mentioned that Ms. Ostermiller had purchased the new U2 iPod, being the U2 fan that she is. Well, at least she'll be able to see Bono day in and day out... anyway, during study hall we decide that we want to sing something for Ms. Ostermiller, so we print the lyrics to Beautiful Day and the guys go out in front of Ms. White's desk and stand in line, tune their voices, and start singing for Ms. Ostermiller. I can tell you that by the time they were done she was as red as a red apple... nice! After that they guys went back into the computer room and we all sang Elevation (even the odd "ahhhhhhh", which neither of us could realistically recreate). But that's not all...

Later on she dares come into the computer room, and another discussion arrises. Somehow that debate is whether Bono is handsome or sexy (and they're not the same thing! Just ask Ms. Ostermiller and she'll tell you why!). The conclusion to that disturbing debate was that he is just sexy... ick. And well, Daniel asked Ms. White if she thought he was sexy and she replied that he wasn't (although we all know what she meant to say was yes, but she would've gotten in trouble for saying that).


Sexy? I think not... and isn't he supposed to be Irish?


Funny Moments

This blog starts in December, but many things happened before December. Here are the highlights. Sorry I couldn't provide too much detail, but it's been quite a while (considering I barely remember what I did this morning).

24/08/04

Env. Sci. – Build a Bridge

This was the beginning of year and Mr. Olivas wanted to build a bridge as a solution to everything. To pass the arroyo? Build a bridge, of course. To get to the tower? Use the bridge. To stop erosion? A bridge will do. How about to climb up the hill? A rope ladder…

25/08/04

Tiny – We Ate the Light

Don’t ask me how this started, I just remember that it happened during Psychology. Tiny stated that in the US he and his brother, they ate the light. That must’ve been quite a feast… can’t you just see Tiny taking a big bite at the dusty old traffic light? Mmmmm…

Tiny – take a study hall, Calabria!

This was quite an amusing one… Calabria was telling us his motives behind taking AP Chem this year, despite not taking Chem last year. His reason was that he had an extra period, and he wanted to take a science because he only had taken something like two in his years at CIC (or he just wanted to take a science, I don’t remember exactly) and in comes Tiny and shouts “Take study hall, Calabria!”… such a Tiny moment…

31/08/04

Tiny – psychology – who is the BF Skinner?

We had to make these questions for Psychology (yes, Irene, for jeopardy) and one of them was “Who is the BF Skinner?” by Tiny.

03/09/04

Rodrigo – Will Smith Australian

The guys were discussing famous Australians (and somehow ACDC didn’t come up…) and well, they came up with a couple that Rodrigo didn’t know were Australian (like Nicole Kidman) so then he blurts out: “You know who’s Australian? Will Smith!”. And you know who Brazilian is? Rodrigo, undoubtedly.

Rodrigo – Calabria, do u have a G-Spot?

And this is one of the best ones around. Rodrigo asking Calabria if he has a G-Spot... who in their right mind does that? Calabria got pissed off and said no, so we bothered him with it for a while... well, we still do. If you see him, ask him where his G-Spot is...

06/09/04

Irene – well.. an interview is when u.. Guerra: Ok, that’s enough

Ms. Guerra asked Irene what an interview was during Psychology. Irene starts “uhm, well, an interview is when you have questions that…” and Guerra cuts her off with “Ok, that’s enough.” So rude, right!? Funny, nonetheless…

13/09/04

Waters – do u have cupcakes for breakfast?

This was one of the most hilarious events in our senior year thus far. We’re in our English classroom (ex Health) and Mr. Waters walks in… the first thing he says? “Hey guys, do you have cupcakes for breakfast?”. LOL! It’s not so much what he said (well, yes it is) but the way he said it… all silent and honest… excellent!

15/09/04

Rodrigo – breaking meter-stick on Calabria’s ass

And we’re on our break from Psychology and out comes the Brazilian with a metre stick. Calabria is drinking water off the fountain and he just smacks the hell out of Calabria’s ass with the metre stick. The result? A broken metre stick… good job! I have no clue where he hid it, but we never saw it again. At least he’s good at hiding things.

16/09/04

Tiny – there are a lot of hot moms at school

I think that’s pretty much self explanatory. Tiny thinks that there are a lot of hot moms at school and he’s not ashamed of expressing his opinion, even if it is in the middle of the school day.

Volo to 5^th graders – how u doin’?

And this is something Rodrigo came up with because of Volo’s habit of hitting on the younger people. The next step is 5^th graders. I don’t even want to think what comes next…

20/09/04

Rodrigo – “It’s like sex… u don’t think about it.. u just… GO!”

Or at least it’s that way in Brazil…

21/09/04

Carlos and Rodrigo – skipping through halls

And EnvSci is over… I see Rodrigo, Tiny and Carlos skipping right around the corner so I decide to join them (this is not just skipping… this is skipping with a gay purpose) and who do we find at the corner? Mr. Walker, yeees!!! Great impression that made… we just went about it as if nothing had happened though… chances are that he didn’t see it. lol

22/09/04

Carlos – fingering James’ binder and Ms. White walking by

Carlos has a fetish for my three-ring binder. I didn’t witness this myself as I was in the computer room, but what Rodrigo says was that Carlos started to finger my binder, slowly at first and then picking it up a notch. Then he closes his eyes and really gets into it and when he opens it… WOW! White is watching! He was ashamed of that, all right… we wonder if Ms. White got turned on by that… we didn’t ask, of course. Oh, study hall…

23/09/04

Carlos – throwing “The Last Alcoholic in America” on Calabria’s and Daniel’s chess game

So Calabria and Daniel are peacefully playing chess in the library during study hall and there’s this book that is called “The Last A… in America” (not Alcoholic, but something that starts with “A”, I don’t remember, but the guys read it as Alcoholic). Carlos all of a sudden throws it at the chess board and knocks the pieces down. No apparent reason, but loads of fun.

07/10/04

Daniel – playing two chords on quatro after leaving advisory

Daniel is fooling about with a quarto during advisory and Mr. Rasmuson has had enough of it. He kicks Daniel out of the room and Daniel stands up and starts walking out. Right when he’s under the bridge of the door, he plays two quick chords on the quatro. We all laughed for quite a while… I don’t know what was so funny, but I’m telling you, it was hilarious.

UPDATE

Maurizio Masturbating

During advisory, Maurizio was caught pleasuring the chair and himself with a metre stick. He stuck the stick into one of the holes on the base of the chair and started thrusting it up and down passinately. ICK! And you thought Rodrigo was weird...

What do you give a kid to go potty training?

That was the question in Psychology. You'd expect an answer such as food and/or water, but this being our class you can be sure that wasn't the answer. Daniel yelled at the top of his lungs "Turbo Lax!". Yees, cuz that's what you give a kid, right? A laxante so he can let it all out at the potty... poor kids of Daniel. I wonder how he'll teach them to dance... I hope for the kids sake that he doesn't have a gun...

A Better Look

Class of 2005

This is a picture of us. As you can tell, we're looking at the wrong camera... what does that say about us?

Intro

This blog is intended to serve as a medium in which to tell the world (or just to remember) all the crazy things the class does and all the not-so-smart things people say. Just a bit of fun. If you're opposed to this the there's not much you can do, as the web is a free place (for now) and I shall post whatever I wish. You can always email me nicely, but if you end up sending too many protest emails I might just block you. I feel powerful! Eh, well... just for a bit.

Hope you enjoy reading about our adventures (or lack of them).